The Most Trustworthy Guy in the World

The Most Trustworthy Guy in the World © Bob Mullany 9/8/2006


You can see him approach in the Budweiser mirror
You feel resignation and a slight twinge of fear
He drank up his courage and put down his feet
And he’s hoping he’s someone you’re longing to meet
His timing seems perfect, the band’s song is done
He’s got his best line on the tip of his tongue
Then BANG !,he’s shot down in the blink of an eye
He doesn’t continue, he doesn’t ask why
His shoulders slump down and it’s clear that he’s beat
As he looks at the floor and slinks back to his seat

Fueled by illusion and liquor and lust
Another poor bastard has bitten the dust
Though it can be awkward, it’s certainly just
These days it’s not easy to know who to trust
If you want to discuss it, I’m here for you, girl
And I’m the most trustworthy guy in the world

I can see you’re well versed at deflecting requests
From bleary eyed guys who can’t see past your breasts
But hope springs eternal, and the night it is long
After five shots of vodka his mojo seems strong
So he sidles on up with a casual flair
Like a man of the world who’s already been there
Then BANG !, he’s shot down like a duck from the sky
Still he gets some applause from the rest of the guys
As he staggers on off to his barstool retreat
And his friends offer vodka to toast his defeat

Fueled by illusion and liquor and lust
Another poor bastard has bitten the dust
Though it can be awkward, it’s certainly just
These days it’s not easy to know who to trust
If you want to discuss it, I’m here for you, girl
And I’m the most trustworthy guy in the world

Many men dream of a beauty like you
And they hope that some magic will make it come true
Then there’s always that player who thinks it’s his right
To find a quick score and get lucky each night
He’s a golden tongued devil with sparkling eyes
Who seeks to entrap you with beautiful lies.
But BANG!, he’s shot down and he’ll never know why
You can even hear snickers from some the guys
Still he struts like a cock in his Calvin Klein shirt
As he exits in search of a new place to flirt

Fueled by illusion and liquor and lust
Another poor bastard has bitten the dust
Though it can be awkward, it’s certainly just
These days it’s not easy to know who to trust
If you want to discuss it, I’m here for you, girl
And I’m the most trustworthy guy in the world

You say this guy seems honest and shy and sincere
Though his judgment is clouded with a half dozen beers
Still, he’s very disarming, and charming, and bright
But question his motives, you need to be right
There’s just one more option I’d like to suggest
I have my own portable polygraph test
We can hook him up here, and we’ll give him a shot
And we’ll know right away if he’s lying or not
Then BANG!, he’ll be shocked with a terrible jolt
From my tazer that zaps him with thousands of volts

Fueled by illusion and liquor and lust
Another poor bastard has bitten the dust
It seems pretty drastic, but it’s only just
I may be the last guy in the world you can trust
You don’t need to thank me, I’m here for you, girl
And I’m the most trustworthy guy in the world

Copyright Bob Mullany 9/8/2006

1 comment:

  1. "Love all, trust a few."
    -William Shakespeare

    ReplyDelete