Mahatma Gandhi Rag

Mahatma Gandhi Rag


I was underneath the covers with my sweet little lover
when a knock came on the door
-Said, “ I'm busy with my baby,
won't you come back some other time?”
The dude at the door said, “ I'll kill you now for sure
and you can mark my words
'Cause that lady in your bedroom ain't yours, she's mine!”


Well, he kicked down the door and he knocked me on the floor
and he picked me up and knocked me 'round
a couple minutes more
- he was makin' mighty sure I knew
he didn't wanna be my friend
Then he looked at my baby and said "You're a pretty lady
but you really messed me over
And I never wanna see your two-time face around here again."


As I jumped up he said, "You better watch out, buddy,
'cause these hands are trained to kill
I could rap you like a pretzel if I wanted to right now"
I said, "I'm a pacifist and you can hit me if you wanna, man,
until you've had your fill
I don't wanna hurt my guitar-pickin' fingers
on your noggin anyhow."


Well, he kicked me 'round some more
but pretty soon he just got bored
and I headed for the bed as he headed for the door
and he called back o'er his shoulder
"I don't wanna see you 'round again !"
Well, my face was pretty pickled
but my gal was really tickled
an' I began to see what for
and I whispered to myself "Mahatma Gandhi, you're my friend."


So all you fellas list'nin - if you ever get occasion
to find yourself entangled in a similar situation
don't go actin' like a hero
and a'beatin' up on her man.
You're gonna get a couple belts and a couple ugly welts
but if the chick is worth it, man,
just watch her as she melts , and says :
(spoken falsetto)
"You poor, poor, baby,
- I ain't never gonna see that big, mean, nasty,
ugly brute again ! "


© 1973 Bob Mullany